Sandy Hook and Taking Care of our Minds

We should take better care of our minds, instead of our possessions.

This is one of the saddest tragedies I could ever have thought would happen in our country.

I wrote two poems this weekend, for Sandy Hook... thus goes the grieving process and I extent all my love to these poor people as they try to hold themselves together through the holiday season. I cannot imagine the pain they're going through:

To die young
it was never a race
we only dreamt
as is fair to see,
In no one's eyes
as the time ticks
no saving point
for you and me.
And at last
we hold our hearts
to the brink
of all to see,
There's nothing
to hold in
the pain and suffering
for you and me.

and...

I want to go
this place is too painful
nothing can heal these wounds
of the lost cries of anger

I'm forever torn
in this place called home
no one can comfort me
in this time unimaginable

Forever lost
my shadow shall go
once was a piece of me
has been buried alone

Never again shall I hear
your laughter and cries
you were taken away from me
far too quick, far too soon

This may surprise you, but the second is actually written from Adam's perspective, though it's supposed to sound like it's from the parent's of the lost children as well. Both, to be fair.

Please don't jump down my throat for being insensitive because I wrote about him in a different light. Please read further if you truly believe that, as I hope to ease your mind.

I said this before, during the Aurora & temple shooting as well, that this again is about treating people's minds. It is not about gun control and I'm still shocked people bring this up. (Even more ironic that the guns he used were legal, right? We have pretty good control in the states, we do not have good control of our mental health system yet.)

Have you noticed that many of these people are of high intelligence? Very high in fact. This kid was close to a genius. With no history of violence. He was a troubled kid. This happens often.

Frankly, I can see why. Some kids really are capable of hiding, to a degree, how disturbed they are. If it's all in your mind, if you speak no words out loud, you can hide everything. I know this because frankly I've done this in the past, even in the present... Hell, most of my friends have no idea whatsoever the struggles I have gone through just to graduate high school and college. Why's that? Because I am a fantastic liar and bender of truth. Only say the information that is needed to convey an image of normal. As long as I shut my mouth before it gets out of hand, people have no idea, right?

Reality is forever tainted.

When I find out information like this I shutter, because (to a strange degree) leaves me wondering if I was just a little more disturbed, what things I'd be capable right? What all of us are capable of with a distorted mind. And do not say, "I'd never do that" because you have no idea what the future holds and what trauma you may be forced to experience. You have no idea.

I saw a post on an anonymous app called Whisper where someone had stated that "gun control is the easier way to control this issue." I responded back with "just because it's easier doesn't make it the right/best way to solve an issue." to which the person responded "Oh, so you have a better idea then?" which I stated what I had stated at the beginning of this entry "We should take better care of our minds, instead of our possessions."

How do people not see it? Why have they blinded themselves from the truth of human beings and the capacity for distortion and warping of reality?

People don't want to believe it, right? Naturally many don't have to live through what it's like to have a distorted reality... but does that mean you shouldn't try to understand what it's like?

Instead...

You have people, the day of the shooting, once the news programs posted the "name" of the killer, which turned out to be his innocent brother, I went on his facebook to see THOUSANDS of people writing on his wall, telling him to "burn in hell". Others with the same names had the SAME problem.

I am utterly disgusted with people. How can you jump to conclusions so rashly and so fucking quickly to bash some innocent person??

While people are mourning, you throw your "two cents" in and bash anyone you can possibly get your little fingertips on in the anonymous world on the internet? How fucking cowardly you people are!

Is this why our systems are failing?

I believe so. People don't want to think about the issues, they want to blame and destroy each other with harsh words to makethemselves feel better... and then move on with their lives!

How are people okay with doing this?

Also, reading this article puts the troubles of a parent with a severe mental ill child into perspective that I think everyone should read.

I just... I want to get these words out there. I think it's important to do so. We need to start thinking more in-depth about how we as humans are! Otherwise this will just keep happening...

As I do not believe the world will end on the 21st, (thought sometimes I wish it would), but I do believe that it is the beginning of the falter of the human brain. I think we'll see more and more imbalance in people, unless we start using those imbalances to our advantage.

It's time to think about how we're living instead of surviving.

My father has extensive work in the mental health field; he was a judge for committing mentally ill people into hospitals. My father knows very well the extent of how flawed the mental health system is.

How even after family protests and psychiatrist testimonies, that a person cannot be committed if they haven't done anything to harm themselves or someone else. Regardless of what anyone says about how they are very very sick. Because it is the person's right to not be commit.

My father has had cases where he would beg a person to seek treatment and they wouldn't do it. Days later, they would kill themselves.

It is a sad reality we face. That our own rights are killing us.

This is all I shall say for today.